I trudged through those steel doors of the labor and delivery unit, my legs weak, my body unstable. It wasn’t the pregnancy weight that threatened my balance, but the weight of fear and sorrow. You guided me to the delivery room, the one that stood hidden at the…
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January 31, 2015. I had a baby. But the hospital atmosphere was anything but celebratory. My baby had been born 20 weeks too soon, and as expected, did not survive. Giving birth had resulted in death instead of life. The hope that I had carried in expectation of adding a…
While working to declutter my bedroom today, I came across a stack of old journals and skimmed through one of them. It was the one that was given to me at the hospital after baby Micah died, and for months, I had filled its empty pages with my heartache and…
Motherhood is: Walking into the bathroom to find a toddler elbow deep in toilet water. And then realizing that it’s un-flushed toilet water that has sparked his glee. It’s throwing out the toothbrush and the hairbrush that have been emphatically dipped in urine. And it…