How a School Enrollment Form Reminded Me of The Blank Spaces in Our Family
When you lose a baby, there are always spaces in life that remain blank, empty. Your arms and lap. A bed, a crib. A seat at the dinner table, a place on the couch. A spot in the annual family picture. Photo albums, scrapbooks. Boxes on the calendar where birthdays…
The world continues to watch a grieving mama whale maneuver the waters of the Pacific Northwest, while carrying her dead calf for, as of the last report, the sixth day in a row. This sweet mama has captured the attention of people all over the world as they have witnessed…
I came across this image of a grieving whale and my attention was captured by the stunning display of a mother’s love. This mama whale’s calf died shortly after birth, and as I write, she has continued to carry it for three days. She holds on…
If you are grieving the loss of a baby, know that it’s okay. It’s okay to be angry. At God. At the world. At whoever. It’s okay to tear up those pregnancy announcements and baby shower invitations and birth announcements that now seem to…
There are countless boxes scattered about the house as we prepare for an out-of-state move. And as I scan each room, it’s these two boxes that stand out. Not because they are decorative boxes, prettier than the standard cardboard ones that fill the rest of the…
They say the days of motherhood are long. And the nights too. For motherhood is an all-consuming job. And perhaps this is even more true for the mother who does not hold her child in her arms. Because although gone, her child’s life still consumes her, in…
A Birthday, Father’s Day and a Due Date
Today is a day of mixed emotions. A little girl’s birthday. Father’s Day. And a due date that did not result in a birth date. If I could go back to this date three years ago, I would cry all the tears I wanted to cry…
Letting Go of Guilt When a Memory Brings More Joy Than Pain
There wasn’t much that I shared with the Facebook world after losing Micah because, well, my life was far from picture perfect. The doom and gloom of pregnancy loss doesn’t really interest people, and I didn’t have the energy to pretend that I thought…
I Stepped Out of My Comfort Zone at Church and This is What Happened
I did something I’ve never done before in church. I felt prompted by God and stepped out of my comfort zone in response. I confronted both my fear and skepticism and God showed up. There was a woman in attendance who I’m familiar with, but have…
To the Woman Who Minimized the Loss of My Baby
To the Woman Who Minimized the Loss of My Baby: You are absolutely correct. I don’t know what it’s like to have a full-term newborn baby die in my arms, but I can imagine the trauma and devastation you experienced as you watched your baby…